CURSED TO FEEL.

How do you know when enough is enough?

I can tell you myself I have zero clue when that is. When it comes to relationships, whether it is with friends, a lover, or a random human being, some times staying true to your morals just isn’t what needs to happen. I’m making this post because initially this blog was for me, to vent about anything and everything I want…ME, this is for ME. So I’m going to be that hopeless romantic idiot 100% soul giving best friend who gushes and mopes about life shit.

Currently 10:43PM, sipping on some vanilla chamomile (yeah I just set the scenery for you, wod-ever) I guess when you are someone like me with self diagnosed anxiety this is the prime time for heavy thoughts. Lately I’ve had trouble finding a happy medium with life, mainly with friends and who to believe and not believe in. Believing in people could be the most awful thing ever. It literally eats away at my spine and makes me sick to my stomach… how do you just give up? if others can give up on you in a 24 hour period, why not you? Wanna know why? BECAUSE YOU ARE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON. You are someone who sticks to your word and believes in loyalty above anything else.expire

I’ve heard it all, “i’ll always come back”, “you are being ridiculous”, “you are over reacting”.. classic. I guess some people are allergic to telling the truth these days, beating around the bush, no straight forward answers. They forget to realize that actions speak louder than words.. But that isn’t enough for you to realize that this person sucks, this human you have in your life can care less about you. So what happens next, you are a good human being, you know what’s next.. you keep trying. You bite the bullet and by bullet I mean the bullshit lies, and keep chugging along, hoping your friend or significant other will change, they’ll return to their usual self, the person you first fell in love with or created that tight friendship with.

Who the fuck are we kidding? They’ll never change. See if there is one thing that I have learned over the last year and even more so these last couple months is that people are constantly growing, people are constantly CHANGING. I can’t bash them for that, unfortunately people change for the worst and that is ok, because that will be their problem when shit hits the fan for them. The real problem is, Why do we let these people continue to ruin our lives? why do we let such negative energy tear us down? is my incredible loyalty that important to stay true to that this person who does the bare minimum can walk all over me. Well, obviously, so much so that when they have finally had enough you are left feeling as if you have done wrong.

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It’s hard, it sucks and it is painful.. losing anybody who used to mean so much to you can fuck us all up mentally. But at the end of the day, who gets to choose how much was enough? when was the breaking point? to you, the good human being, you didn’t even see it coming, you were too busy giving it all you have, there is no doubt about it.. to them, they were just waiting for the next string to pull. Cliché isn’t it? sure is..

I guess we all have to decide, when you look back on your life and time spent on a certain person or situation would you be proud of it? would you want to relive that moment over and over again if you had to? your answer is no, because my answer is no. Don’t realize when it is enough when it is too late.

FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU WANT, but fight for what is worth it in the long run. Have better judgment, set the tone from the start, and live the life you want to live with like minded people. This was a terribly long feeling banter, and I hope whoever reads this finds some answers or relation, you are not the only person out there with these sort of problems, just know that it’s ok to be all in no matter what, someone will be grateful for it and give it right back to you, I know I have a few in my corner that I can count on and would not trade them for the world.

Because Enough is Enough.

xx, Mich.

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